Celebrating 25 years of marriage

My husband and I are celebrating 25 years of marriage. That is crazy to think about! It feels just like yesterday, but I blinked and here we are 25 years later. We have created a beautiful story. Through the good, the bad and hard I can’t imagine walking through life with anyone else.

Celebrating 25 years of marriage:

It literally blows my mind that we have been married for 25 years! It really feels like yesterday that we said “I do”. We have walked through the past 25 years hand in hand. We have been through happy times and hard times but one thing that is certain, we have never given up on us.

Now, when I say hard times I am serious. We have suffered. Around the fourth year of marriage we suffered through infertility and our marriage grew stronger. Don’t get me wrong. Those were extremely tough and dark days. However, we clung to each other and our faith. We continued traveling and spending time with friends as we went through fertility treatments, surgeries and saw a variety of specialists.  I knew in my heart that our family would eventually be complete. I kept the faith.

At our fifth year of marriage, we sold our first home and custom built our 2nd home together. Quickly after settling into our new home, we started the adoption process for our son. Those were the longest 14 months of our life. We once again clung to each other and our faith. God carried us through some of the darkest days of our life but in the end, it was worth it. The day that our son was placed into our arms forever was the best day of our life.  All of the heartache was erased, and we were so joyous.  Our family was complete.

 

Seemingly overnight I began to fall deeper in love with my husband. I watched him before my eyes become a different man. He gave up golfing, his personal time and devoted himself to our son and I in a way that touched my heart. He is a great Dad. For that I will be eternally grateful. He changed diapers, he gave baths, he was “puked” up on, he took the night shift, he played with our son while I had a break. Those “baby and toddler” days passed quickly.

Before we knew it, we became a soccer family. My son started playing soccer at age three. My husband coached him until he was 8. My husband was a super soccer, Dad. Those days on the soccer sideline have been some of the best days of our lives.

There have been rough times over the past 25 years. My husband’s job was eliminated in 2013 and then a few months later we found out that I had to have my 2nd open heart surgery. We could have fallen apart, but we didn’t. We once again clung together and relied on our faith. During these days my husband literally devoted himself taking care of me and our son.

Tim got a job working remotely for another company and we decided to move to Berea, KY where we met. This is also my hometown and a very special place for both of us. We met on my first day at Berea College in June 1991 and little did I know that day he told my cousin that he was going to marry me one day.

Well seven years later he did. I didn’t learn of this story until at our rehearsal dinner! We did not date during college. We were inseparable and the best of friends but never dated. He graduated in 1994 and I graduated in 1995. In December of 1996 we went on our first “official” date and by the spring of 1997 we started dating and then got engaged in the fall of 1997.

Tim’s health had been suffering over the past several years and he needed a complete knee replacement surgery however they wanted him to try to wait until he was 50. He managed to make it and 6 weeks before our son’s high school graduation he had the surgery! It was a crazy 12 weeks of recovery, but it was a huge success and the best thing he has ever done for himself!

My husband and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary today!  It is hard to believe it has been 25 years because it seems like just yesterday that we said, “I do”.

There have been times where one would have considered throwing in the towel.  But that isn’t an option.  You see Tim just didn’t ask me to “marry him”.  He asked me to spend “an eternity with him”. He said on the night he proposed that divorce will never be an option. With that being said, it would have been easy to walk away several times in our marriage when times were tough.  That was not something that we allow ourselves to consider.

The one thing that I will share is even on the really bad days that we never go to bed angry.  Even if that means we don’t go to bed (and that has happened on several occasions) that has been our motto from day one. He still kisses me goodnight every single night, he still looks at me like no one else does in this world and when we make mistakes, we give each other grace upon grace.

I love my husband with all my heart and soul.  He is truly my greatest blessing that God gifted me with. I can’t imagine my life without him.  That is not saying that there are not hard days.

There have been times that we don’t get along, we have said unkind words to each other, we have times that we drifted apart BUT we have always found our way back to each other. I am thankful for grace upon grace because without it I am not sure we would have survived twenty-five years.

We have always described marriage as roller coaster.  Sometimes there will be highs and often there will be lows. Remember to scream from the peaks, hold hands through the loop-de-loops and enjoy every single twist and turn.  For the ride is better when you experience it together.  I am not a marriage expert by any means but simply sharing what has worked for us.

In closing, I hope that this helps someone who is entering a marriage or finds themselves needing hope. I would suggest that before you marry that you seek the guidance of marriage counseling.  That is something that we attribute our success too.

I would also suggest that you commit before God to an eternity of marriage and commit to working hard on your marriage daily. Stay connected at heart. To my husband. As we enter this next “empty nest” chapter there is no-one else I’d rather walk hand in hand with. I look forward to our adventures and can’t imagine it without you. You have all my love for now and always.

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